One is that I'm going to step aside as far as facilitating things for the tribe. I have wanted to start a tribe that is specifically non-sexual, but many of the members are in exclusively or almost exclusively tribes sexual in nature. I haven't known how to deal with this. So, I encourage you to check out each other's postings, and make plans with those you feel an affinity for.
I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going to the beach with everyone in the tribe...but hey, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go with each other if you want.
So, for those who want to post get togethers, go for it, and I hope you have fun. I will probably e-mail the people I think I'd be most comfortable around. What I absolutely DON"T want is for anyone to go to the beach and feel unwanted sexual energy/pressure around them. If anyone acts in a way you feel is inappropriate, please let me know.
Thanks, hope this makes sense, and I hope y'all meet some new friends through this tribe.
Hari
I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going to the beach with everyone in the tribe...but hey, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go with each other if you want.
So, for those who want to post get togethers, go for it, and I hope you have fun. I will probably e-mail the people I think I'd be most comfortable around. What I absolutely DON"T want is for anyone to go to the beach and feel unwanted sexual energy/pressure around them. If anyone acts in a way you feel is inappropriate, please let me know.
Thanks, hope this makes sense, and I hope y'all meet some new friends through this tribe.
Hari
posted by:
|
SF Bay Area
|
-
Unsu...
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Mon, April 4, 2005 - 7:43 PM
That makes perfect sense. I usually go to beaches to relax and unwind but occasionally it's fun to go looking for an adventure. I think people should just be clear and upfront about why they are going to the beach and let others decide to join or not. -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 12:32 PMExcellent idea Joe. Thank you for being upfront by saying that sometimes you go looking for an adventure. I'm sure there are others in the tribe who also want to go adventuring sometimes.
So yeah, maybe people can post what they're looking to do at the beach on the particular day they're talking about. Just be upfront about it, so no one feels uncomfortable.
Hope you find some buddies on the list.
-
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Mon, April 4, 2005 - 9:18 PMThat is the most bizarre thing I've heard in a LONG time.
To test your theory, I clicked on a few Tribe members at random. Sure, there were some sex tribes, but there were also other interests....so what?
Are you discriminating against people because they are interested in sex, as well as nude beaches?
Have you not thought that perhaps people who are comfortable with their bodies in a NON-sexual nature, in non-sexual places, might ALSO be comfortable with their bodies in sexual places, and can know the difference and respect others?
I'd much rather go to a nude beach with someone who is active in the sex community, and therefore understands BOUNDARIES, and APPROPRIATE PLACES/TIMES, than some random person who might not be educated about that. Ugh.
I think that's bullshit.
After all, it is a MODERATED tribe.
Why don't you kick them out and change the name to "Totally Not-Interested-in-sex-EVER-but-likes-nude-beaches-in-SF"? I'm sure you could scrape up a member or two, if you posted in the Fundamentalist Christian tribe....
-
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 1:02 AMThanks for that Heather. You can't read a Tribester by his/her profile. I'll add to your new Tribe name: "Totally Not-Interested-in-sex-EVER-but-likes-nude-beaches-in-SF-and-insulting-people's-intelligence." -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 11:54 AM>You can't read a Tribester by his/her profile.
Granted. And I may get a public beating from y'all for saying this, but in all honesty, if someone is in absolutely nothing but sex/sex-seeking tribes, and has no interests in other non-sexy tribe, it raises a little red flag for me: that they have an overwhelming preoccupation with sex and finding it on tribe, and maybe I'd be more comfortable getting to know them fully clothed before in the buff; if someone is in sex/sex-seeking tribes, but are in lots of other interesting tribes too, I consider them to be more sex-positive and perhaps someone I'd enjoy going to a nude beach with.
An unfair generalization, true, but there it is. I've had both good & bad experiences meeting people in tribe in person - and yes, a few in lots of sex tribe that I think are fabulous, but I'm glad I met them clothed first. -
-
And Mela...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 12:27 PM...I couldn't have said it better. Although, since someone was attacking me for no reason, I tried;)
-
-
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 12:25 PMMeow, catty girl, claws in. First of all, as the moderator, I originally said that I was seeking a totally non-sexual experience at nude beaches. Then, I said that personally I wouldn't feel comfortable making plans and going with some of the people on the tribe. My perogative. You can do whatever you want. It is ME who feels uncomfortable.
Why had you had to rant and rave about it, I don't know. I didn't tell YOU what to do, just stated my preference. As I said, people in the tribe can obviously post and go with whomever they feel like.
Why don't I kick them out and change the name to "blah blah blah blah blah"? Because, bitchy girl, I want YOU to be able to go with whomever you want. Because, even though I feel a bit uncomfortable, I didn't want to take nice experiences away from other people. I kept and will keep the tribe open for people like you...although why, after your scathing writing, I have to wonder.
-
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 1:59 PMI just don't understand your logic (and your resorts to petty name calling, but that's another topic all together) about people being in sex tribes = people who might be sexual in non-sexual places.
I was just calling you on it, and seeing if you could actually bring some LOGIC to the situation, rather than just being biased and closed-minded...which, you obviously can't get past.
Perhaps you could get some counseling for those hangups you have about people who like sex? (Although, based on YOUR tribes, you don't seem to mind it either....) -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 2:42 PM
The problem with a nude beach is that people can be and sometimes are sexually inappropriate - I've personally had some bad experiences from unwanted photography, uninvited closeness /staring, woken up with an under-the-blanket-masturbator sitting beside me, etc. So, yes, I'd personally be a little shy of going to a nude venue with someone exclusively in sex tribes, not because I think they'll rape me (as you assume is Hari's fear, HeatherLynn), but because there's a potential uncomfortableness that I just don't want to deal with on a pleasant day at the beach. Only Hari knows what she really meant, but frankly I think HeatherLynn overreacted to what Hari was trying to say; that she's wary of going nudie with some people in this tribe based on her perception of their preoccupation with sex (again, based on them ONLY being in sex-related tribes and nothing else); not a hang-up with sex, just wants to be clear that this tribe isn't intended for sexual hook-ups on the beach.
I relate to what Hari was bringing up, by the way; I don't have "sexual hang-ups" nor do I consider myself to be "close-minded" or illogical, but I do want it clear that going to a nude beach isn't necessarily sexual; I'd love to believe everyone on all of tribe also feels this way too, but that'd be a silly assumption now, wouldn't it?
-
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 3:08 PMMella: I never 'assumed' anything, if you read my original post. I am actually asking for clarification, as my reaction to her post stated.
I interpreted it to mean "I am uncomfortable to be around people who are comfortable with/interested in sex. You go do your thing, but I want nothing to do with you, because of your interests."
I agree that there can be uncomfortable experiences at nude beaches. I've had them myself, with the nasty rock rats and other skeevy men masturbating and whatnot. That's not the issue.
But I DO NOT immediately judge anyone based upon the tribes they're in, or say that I wouldn't want to be around them because of that. And that's what I have the problem with, dismissing people like that. -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 3:29 PM
"But I DO NOT immediately judge anyone based upon the tribes they're in, or say that I wouldn't want to be around them because of that. And that's what I have the problem with, dismissing people like that."
Good for you. Still think you're being waaay too hard on her (especially your call to abandon this tribe), and people such as myself who tend to agree with what she wrote: "So, I encourage you to check out each other's postings, and make plans with those you feel an affinity for. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going to the beach with everyone in the tribe...but hey, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go with each other if you want." Makes sense to me.
Perhaps it's time for the (very few) people in this tribe who are almost exclusively in sex tribes to speak up? Do you feel left out or judged by this turn of conversation?
(ack! This has gone on too long. My last post on the subject. Wishing for a sunny weekend soon for sunning at Red Rock, drama aside.) -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 6:41 PMLOL. Heatherlyn, I just don't know how to react to your melodrama. You say you just wanted me to clarify...but your reaction was a..ummm...`call to ABANDON tribe'. Jesus, are we in Haiti waiting for a coup? I'm getting posts from other members asking me to get you out of here because of that. I'm loathe to do that, but if you're going to stay, at least please stop creating drama and negativity.
For some reason you're totalling overreacting to me, so read Mella's posts, because my feelings and experiences are right on opar with hers.
If you feel the need to attack me, from now on, please e-mail me privately so the tribe doesn't need to suffer. And if I have something to say to you re: this issue, I will also take it privately.
Thank you. Now, what are we here for? Oh, right, nude beaches.....please see the new thread, b'coz today was awesome out!
-
-
-
Unsu...
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Tue, April 5, 2005 - 7:44 PM
I make this recommendation from time to time but I am never taken seriously: If you want to avoid creepy guys, try going to gay nude beaches. Creepy guys universally have no sense of personal boundaries but they are also universally afraid of gay men. -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Wed, April 6, 2005 - 11:27 AMIronic that you should say that today. I've been going to Baker Beach the last few days, and yesterday I was lying by myself with really no one around me, and some guy came up to me and asked if he could sit with me because he didn't want gay guys hitting on him. I really didn't know how to respond to that. I wanted to believe he was telling the truth... So, I sort of mumbled `whatever' a few times, because of course I was too afraid to be blunt, and finally he went away. That was really weird! What do you think? Line or no line? -
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Thu, April 7, 2005 - 3:45 PMWithout being there, I'd guess it was a line.
And I agree with the others--even if it wasn't a line, doesn't sound like someone worth spending time with.
-
-
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Wed, April 6, 2005 - 12:06 PM
Hi Joe, thanks for the advice; which nude beaches are "gay nude beaches"?
(Frankly, I accept that, inevitably, I'll encounter creepyguy every so often when nude in public; nothing can really be done about that, no? Love nude beaches regardless.)
-
-
Unsu...
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Wed, April 6, 2005 - 8:40 PM
I'll answer two at once because I'm lazy. Quirky, I don't know if it's a line or not but anyone so frightened of being flirted with that they run to a woman like they'd run to their mommy, should really be avoided.
Mella, you can spot the gay nude beaches easily - they'll be the ones where the men are in better shape ;)
Seriously, Golden Gate Beach, which is north around the point from Baker is largely gay. You have to park at the gun emplacements and hike down a trail to get there. -
-
Unsu...
Re: About it being non-sexual...
Wed, April 6, 2005 - 8:51 PMHi Quirky,
Hey don't write me off if I'm one of those you consider to be in too many sex tribes to be comfortable with.
Our bunny eared friend does have a point and so does Joe- a gay (or Bi) guy who is in a few sex tribes is probably a good bet to take to a nude beach. Stupid whimpy stalker type guys will be put off by "your guy". The guy won't be afraid of a mixed gay/str8 crowd. And he probably won't be a totally desparate horn-dog.
I have since age 16 enjoyed going to pools. hot tubs, and beaches nude and it has never been overtly sexual. I've seen some sexual things at Baker (a guy staring at my while jacking off while I was with my STR8 cousin, ugh) but it doesn't seem like a sexual situation to me personally.
Mostly I can't stand all the repressed guys standing around fully clothed putting up with the gay guys so they can just get a glimpse of the women.
Yuck, they sap energy away from the peacefulness.
Lemme know when you are heading out, unlike most here, I seem to have more weekdays off (can spontaneously leave on a nice day) and I love Baker (free, beautiful, and easy to get to).
Best.
C
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
